Tag Archive: recovery relationships

  1. Sober Dating Ideas

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    Sober Dating IdeasDating can be challenging and intimidating for anyone, especially if you’re in recovery from drug addiction. The “dating game” is a lot to take on: You have to meet the “right person,” find similar interests, decide on where to go, what to talk about—it’s a lot of pressure. Sober people face an additional challenge, however. Mainstream media portrays the dating scene as alcohol-fueled: bars, clubs, and whichever other venues happen to include hard drinks. Those aren’t the only options, though. There are a lot of fun, sober-minded activities for date-night and you should take advantage of them when you start dating in recovery.

     

    Beaches and Pools

    Whether your intentions for the date are to relax or be active, this is a great option. You can soak in the sun, take a dip in the water, go for a walk along the shore, or play sports on the sand. You and your date can also move around between these activities freely, which can help to keep the conversation and chemistry flowing.

     

    Coffee Shops

    Coffee shops are a great neutral meeting spot that allow you to indulge in some acceptable caffeine (or not) and just get to know one another.  Conversation is a staple in any coffee shop so you’ll be surrounded by other people engaging one another in a friendly, low key manner.  There’s less pressure and sexual tension at a coffee shop than at a bar anyway. It’s a great first or second date idea.

     

    Go on a Hike

    The US is a beautiful country with breathtaking landscapes almost everywhere. A hike can be a great opportunity for both you and your date to put away your phones and enjoy a special kind of closeness, away from the hustle and bustle of normal life.

     

    Batting Cages

    You may think this only applies to baseball fans, but it’s totally the opposite. Taking part in a game at which you or your date may not be particularly skilled can actually make for playful chemistry. Maybe your date needs some help with his or her form? Learning and struggling at something together is priceless.

     

    Movies

    A solid dating staple since middle school, movies are low-maintenance yet entertaining. They make for easy conversation, a chance to kindle some flames without the dangers that come with, say, discussions about politics or religion.  You also get to feel out one another’s taste in story, movie, and entertainment.

     

    There are many options available for a couple looking to stoke the dating flame in early or active recovery. It’s wise to be careful about getting entangled in an intimate relationship too soon after treatment. You need time to get on your own 2 feet again.  But when it’s time, this kind of relationship can be just what you need to get back in the game of life.

  2. Relationships in Early Recovery

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    Relationships in Early RecoveryRecovering from drug addiction or alcoholism and achieving genuine sobriety involves far more than just staying away from drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol consume every aspect of life until they decide to get sober and enter recovery for their addictions. Jobs, friendships, finances, and most significantly, their relationships with people close to them are affected. Young adult addicts will lie to, cheat, and take advantage of the people who are closest to them to support their drug or alcohol habits. This conduct erodes and destroys relationships and impairs their ability to form new and meaningful relationships. Recovery is a process of healing and learning. Healing old relationships and learning how to fully participate in new ones are part of this process.

    Relationships in Early Recovery

    Early recovery is full of mood swings, difficult experiences, and drastic change. From 30 to 60 to 90 days, an adolescent in recovery changes from one day to the next. Being in a romantic relationship during that time can disturb the natural and necessary flow of recovery. It is recommended forming any new romantic relationships should be abstained from for at least a year. This time should be used to learn and develop new tools to address stress, anger, and other challenging emotions. Adding a new relationship into this mix can impair both the development of those tools and the growth of the relationship. Too many relapses are the result of a breakup or romantic rejection in early recovery. Emotions are fragile as are identities, senses of self-esteem and self-worth. Sex, affection, and attention can feel as good as substances during vulnerable times. Unfortunately, they can leave a young adult feeling as broken and confused as they did before.

    Working to reconcile existing primary relationships with friends and family members should take precedence. Addiction is seen as a family disease and an illness that impacts everyone in an addict’s life. Neglecting to heal these relationships can result in lingering anger, shame, or resentment within them. Preventing past relationships from moving forward complicates the ability to create new ones.

     

    Sustain Recovery Services in southern California helps adolescents and young adults to recover from drug and alcohol addiction through extended care services. Please see our website or call us at 949-407-9052 for more information on how we can assist in helping you or a loved one build a new life with a solid foundation in sobriety.

I first met Sayeh in November of 2013 just after my 15 year old daughter had been admitted to a residential treatment program. As part of the program I was required to attend 2-3 AlAnon meetings a week. Sayeh attended the same AlAnon meetings as well as Alumni events as I. It soon became apparent to me that Sayeh had a heart for recovery, program, and God. When I was encouraged to get a sponsor I didn’t hesitate. Dependable, respectful, kind and generous of spirit, she exudes an inner peace that I hope to achieve with her loving guidance, as I work my own program. She is patient, & full of wisdom that she is always happy to share with her sponsees and fellow parents. I am so grateful our journeys brought us together.

Megan
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