Tag Archive: addiction denial

  1. Taking Responsibility for Addiction

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    boy responsible

    When something in our lives goes wrong – and especially when something goes horribly wrong — it makes us feel horrible. When we feel horrible, of course we have the urge to discard those horrible feelings. Oftentimes the easiest way to do that is to pass them onto someone else. In the heat of the moment, you probably don’t realize you’re doing it. Hell, it may even feel totally justified. This is prevalent among addicts and their families; both parties may blame each other. In reality, addiction is a disease, and although certain factors may play into addictive cycles, you can’t really blame anyone in particular. It’s just too complicated. Furthermore, it’s a waste of energy. That person you’re blame may be able to help, but not if there’s a disconnect–an aura of resentment–between you two.

    The Vicious Cycle

    Children and spouses of alcoholics will often hear, “I drink because you nag me,” or “I drink because you don’t love me anymore.” This, that—it doesn’t matter, because it’s never a good reason for a recovering person to drink. It may be your reason to drink, or their reason to drink, but it’s not a good reason to drink. It needs to be addressed, is the point, because it’s not okay.


    After someone experiences a death in the family, a nasty breakup, or a morbid medical diagnosis, drug or alcohol use may seem justified for you or loved one. “Give me a break,” people often say when a drink seems like the normal thing to do. Certain instances, unlike the situation highlighted above, are mostly unavoidable; we all experience them, and we all need some way to deal with them, right? For God’s sake, we all need a beer or a smoke every now and then, right? For a non-addict, maybe that’s somewhat valid, or at least understandable.

    Who Is Responsible?

    At the end of the day, the user is responsible for his or her behavior. If that sounds too harsh, try to understand that it’s not as though the person committed a crime. We don’t choose to be addicts. Most people can have a drink or two, or experiment with light drugs, without developing problems. Unfortunately, some can’t. A person isn’t irresponsible for getting to the point in which you have to face cravings. Tough situations, situations we don’t ask for, are a part of life. However, we still have a responsibility to deal with them—especially if these problems affect the people around us, the way addiction does, relentlessly.

    Need treatment? Call 949-637-5499

  2. Should I Tell an Addict He’s in Denial?

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    Should I Tell an Addict He’s in Denial?Convincing a teenager to halt the use of social media might be easier than assuring them of their problems with substance abuse. Friends and family will painfully witness an adolescent addict or alcoholic’s suffering for years. Fearful of driving their younger loved one deeper into addiction, family members will debate confrontation.

    Approaching an adolescent in your life who is suffering from drug addiction or alcoholism requires tact. Rather than exaggerate the state of their addiction, speak honestly and from the heart. Start by asking open-ended questions about how they feel after drinking or using drugs. Ask if anyone else has spoken to them about having a problem. Explore missed school, work, or family obligations due to drinking or drug use.

    Generally, alcoholics and addicts are reactive. Be prepared for a variety of reactions as well as responses. Suggesting the presence of a substance abuse problem can warrant anger, rage, or more denial. Guilt or regret over their drinking might be expressed. Lies about the amount or frequency of their drinking might be told. Blame for their drinking on their careers, problems with family or other relationships may be assigned. Your confrontation is not premature. Deflection and denial are signs of addiction and alcoholism. Using drugs and drinking has taken internal priority in your young loved one’s life. As a result, they will go to great mental lengths to protect their ability to get drunk or high.

    Having a confrontational conversation about substance abuse with your adolescent or teen when they are drunk or high will not be effective. Wait until they are no longer intoxicated. Set up a specific time to have a talk as a family. You might not get a positive response after the first or second time you speak to an adolescent who is addicted to drugs and alcohol. If all else fails, consider enlisting the support and expertise of an interventionist who can guide the process.


    Is an adolescent in your life suffering from drug addiction and/or alcoholism? Recovery is possible. Your teen deserves to live a long and fulfilling life. We offer extended care services including weekly family programming. For more information, please call Sustain Recovery Services in Orange County at 949-407-9052.

I first met Sayeh in November of 2013 just after my 15 year old daughter had been admitted to a residential treatment program. As part of the program I was required to attend 2-3 AlAnon meetings a week. Sayeh attended the same AlAnon meetings as well as Alumni events as I. It soon became apparent to me that Sayeh had a heart for recovery, program, and God. When I was encouraged to get a sponsor I didn’t hesitate. Dependable, respectful, kind and generous of spirit, she exudes an inner peace that I hope to achieve with her loving guidance, as I work my own program. She is patient, & full of wisdom that she is always happy to share with her sponsees and fellow parents. I am so grateful our journeys brought us together.

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