Sober Dating Ideas

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Sober Dating IdeasDating can be challenging and intimidating for anyone, especially if you’re in recovery from drug addiction. The “dating game” is a lot to take on: You have to meet the “right person,” find similar interests, decide on where to go, what to talk about—it’s a lot of pressure. Sober people face an additional challenge, however. Mainstream media portrays the dating scene as alcohol-fueled: bars, clubs, and whichever other venues happen to include hard drinks. Those aren’t the only options, though. There are a lot of fun, sober-minded activities for date-night and you should take advantage of them when you start dating in recovery.


Beaches and Pools

Whether your intentions for the date are to relax or be active, this is a great option. You can soak in the sun, take a dip in the water, go for a walk along the shore, or play sports on the sand. You and your date can also move around between these activities freely, which can help to keep the conversation and chemistry flowing.


Coffee Shops

Coffee shops are a great neutral meeting spot that allow you to indulge in some acceptable caffeine (or not) and just get to know one another.  Conversation is a staple in any coffee shop so you’ll be surrounded by other people engaging one another in a friendly, low key manner.  There’s less pressure and sexual tension at a coffee shop than at a bar anyway. It’s a great first or second date idea.


Go on a Hike

The US is a beautiful country with breathtaking landscapes almost everywhere. A hike can be a great opportunity for both you and your date to put away your phones and enjoy a special kind of closeness, away from the hustle and bustle of normal life.


Batting Cages

You may think this only applies to baseball fans, but it’s totally the opposite. Taking part in a game at which you or your date may not be particularly skilled can actually make for playful chemistry. Maybe your date needs some help with his or her form? Learning and struggling at something together is priceless.



A solid dating staple since middle school, movies are low-maintenance yet entertaining. They make for easy conversation, a chance to kindle some flames without the dangers that come with, say, discussions about politics or religion.  You also get to feel out one another’s taste in story, movie, and entertainment.


There are many options available for a couple looking to stoke the dating flame in early or active recovery. It’s wise to be careful about getting entangled in an intimate relationship too soon after treatment. You need time to get on your own 2 feet again.  But when it’s time, this kind of relationship can be just what you need to get back in the game of life.

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I first met Sayeh in November of 2013 just after my 15 year old daughter had been admitted to a residential treatment program. As part of the program I was required to attend 2-3 AlAnon meetings a week. Sayeh attended the same AlAnon meetings as well as Alumni events as I. It soon became apparent to me that Sayeh had a heart for recovery, program, and God. When I was encouraged to get a sponsor I didn’t hesitate. Dependable, respectful, kind and generous of spirit, she exudes an inner peace that I hope to achieve with her loving guidance, as I work my own program. She is patient, & full of wisdom that she is always happy to share with her sponsees and fellow parents. I am so grateful our journeys brought us together.

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